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Letter to My Body - by Dawn Schnee

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I once looked at the curve of your thigh and remarked to my mother, “I think I’m going to have your thighs.” She shot back, “You keep eating cookies the way you do and you’ll have YOUR thighs.”

I felt awkward in you. Frustrated tears when you couldn’t jump rope in gym. Embarrassed when you wouldn’t work fast enough or coordinated enough to keep from getting picked last for the team.

Swimsuit torture. Granny breasts on a teenage form. I was ashamed of the angry red stretch marks on your upper thighs.

But, you were strong enough to grow and deliver the baby they all said you’d never make. You delivered him and quickly healed. I was so familiar with you by this point, that it was strange to me to not be able to identify all your parts. Nothing was where I had left it.

Pregnancy left more marks on you, forever banning you from being a swimsuit model. With this final scarring across your stomach, and more stretch in the breasts, I forgave your imperfections and quirks.

In the middle of the night, very unceremoniously, our last war ended with a whimper. I was tired as I walked down the hall, and the familiar script began to whisper, “Fatty …”

The words had no sting. They lost their power somewhere along the way.

You’ve done good work. You’ve carried me well these years. Let me take care of you. Let me try to build your strength and health. Rather than trying to make you be something you are not, let me finally see you are a good body, you are my good body.

Dawn Schnee is a brutally honest mommy blogger with a penchant for cute shoes and insomnia. A life long make-up fanatic, Dawn also counts knitting, sex toy reviews and driving over the speed limit as favorite hobbies. Dawn can be found quietly running the show while her partners loudly lead the crowd at Room 704 (http://room704.us)

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Jess-ley wrote:
1) 7/11/2009 12:14:51 AM
Wow! I really think this sums up a lot of thoughts for mommies like me! Thanks for sharing!
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we are the rabbits wrote:
2) 7/11/2009 12:49:37 AM
i've fought for years against my body, cursing it. this has made me feel SO much better--i shouldn't fight it, i should care for it, thank it for all it's done for me for these past 18 years. thank you for providing the stimuli that caused a much-needed epiphany. xo
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Barah wrote:
3) 7/11/2009 1:20:01 AM
That's such a touching blog post! I too had problems with my body. Actually I still do, on my bad days I feel so terrible about myself and on my good days, I feel on top of the world. Of course no one is perfect and I realize that and I am glad you do too! Thanks for sharing such an awesome and inspiring story :)
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luvchelly222 wrote:
4) 7/11/2009 1:50:03 AM
WOW you've said what I have been thinking over and over lately... I was teary reading that someone else thinks the way I can sometimes... I am so grateful for E.L.F. that I can feel beautiful when I put it on and confident when I leave the house knowing that my makeup in nice, even though my body isn't. I'm encourage to treat my body better, thank you.
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alikay wrote:
5) 7/11/2009 7:13:35 PM
good blog. body acceptance is of huge importance and a huge challenge for most women and young girls. this blog is inspirational for women to love their bodies, imperfections and all. the sooner we accept our bodies the sooner we can be happy.
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TriciaXO wrote:
6) 7/11/2009 8:25:21 PM
I used to feel that way. When I was younger, I was so skinny, and growing up sporty has really changed my body. I've got built leg muscles, adding pounds to my weight. My aunt came by the other day and told me I grew up into a good body, saying I looked unhealthy and lanky when I was younger -and skinnier. I know that I am not as skinny as the models who walk the runways for Valentino or D&G, but I am a healthy person. I feel great, but the most important question I find is: What is the "normal" size? How are you supposed to know whether you're skinny or fat, compared to what? If you're bigger than someone like Behati Prinsloo or Coco Rocha, than apparently you're "fatter" than them, but you may be skinny to someone else! The most important thing I find is to be healthy, and stay healthy. If you eat right and exercise, treating your body well, then your body is the perfect size for you!
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Weebs123 wrote:
7) 7/11/2009 9:47:43 PM
I've got stretch marks and I don't have any kids yet. :( Puberty was not my friend, but I've learned to live with who I am, flaws and all.
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yellowtulips wrote:
8) 7/12/2009 1:39:30 AM
I know how you feel. And I likre you have overcame body issues.
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cecilia185 wrote:
9) 7/12/2009 2:09:57 AM
I have always had insecurity issues and after I gave birth to my daughter it got worse. But each day at a time I try to accept myself for who I am.
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leo13 wrote:
10) 7/12/2009 9:55:32 AM
this is beautiful! i used to be extremely self conscious especially of my thighs and the stretch marks on them that i've had since i was 10 from doing gymnastics :( but with my friends help i got over that. well not really over the stretch marks but my mom bought me some cheap cream about a week ago and i looks like it's helping.
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Little Mama wrote:
11) 7/12/2009 11:55:34 AM
I would have to say this is probably one of my favorite elf blogs. I think there are too many of us, myself included, that don't like the body that we were given. But we can learn to be greatful for what we have and deal with where we want to be. Thank you.
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Naturallyvegan wrote:
12) 7/12/2009 2:31:14 PM
In my junior year of high school, I became depressed of the way I looked. Even when people told me I was beautiful I still felt horrible. My grades also suffered by dropping 10 points and my guidance counselor talked to me about them. I started to feel great about my body and now I love it soo much. I think everyone has some sort of issue with their body but can overcome it.
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from NoVA wrote:
13) 7/12/2009 9:31:31 PM
That was a relly touching entry...I think almost all women can relate to your letter. There is one point in anyone's life when they find something about their body they are unhappy about but hopefully there will be a point in one's life where they will stop blaming their body and start taking good care of it.
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AbbyC wrote:
14) 7/13/2009 3:25:33 PM
LOVE this!!!! It's so true how we try to turn ourselves into something we were never meant to be. Me a model? Unless they know how to drop like, 30lbs and make my frame grow another minimum of 8 inches, then NO. However, being seen as a healthy, strong, and confident woman and mother? Definitely possible....
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lostfriends wrote:
15) 7/13/2009 7:28:45 PM
that's wonderful that you're able to embrace your body. I still sometimes struggle with that concept as I am not the typical small skinny type. I have love handles and I have a few curves here and there with stretch marks engrossing my inner thighs and lower buttocks but with a healthy lifestyle and working out I sometimes feel like I'm gainign my confidence and I can love my body as it is.
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swimmer wrote:
16) 7/14/2009 11:50:05 AM
so so true. this hits home with every person no matter their size. If only we could all learn to embrace our bodies and appreciate them.
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BeeKay wrote:
17) 7/14/2009 4:49:19 PM
That was beautiful. :)
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Makenzie wrote:
18) 7/14/2009 7:40:05 PM
No two bodies are alike and I think I need to start realizing that. Thanks so much for your inspirational blog. :)
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onepuregirl wrote:
19) 7/14/2009 11:50:50 PM
I've never been a mother but I too have stretch marks, and for a very long time found them extremly ugly and myself as well at the age of 15 and 16 I grew so fast and gained so much weight. I went from being 5'2 to 5'6, I am currently 5'7 and 1/2. But anyway, wished so hard that I could be so tiny like all of the cheerleaders. That I actually could not apricitate the fact that at 160ilbs I was strong. And healthy, that my legs were not fat but just muscular. But I would not listen to the constant reasuance of even strangers. Two years ago I became sick, and acutally thought I was dying, I finally became really slender but it was so not worth it. I was weak, Just breathing was an effort, I became depressed and was hospitlized. And for the first time in my teen years I acutally wished I was the way I was before. With constant motivation, by telling myself you are strong, and healthy I became that way again. And I have my body back, but now I don't even care that my legs are not skinny or my but is a size 6 I happy being a size elven. I feel so wonderful, even my lungs breath deeply yet again, and I can lift heavy things. I am no weakling. And as for my stretch marks I lovingly call them my tiger stripes.
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wondatwins2 wrote:
20) 7/15/2009 11:30:00 AM
Oh goodness i loved this poem! I so can identify! And i loved how you ended it! Good job.
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chizzleqt wrote:
21) 7/16/2009 9:41:07 PM
from a african amrican teen perspective i understand the body pressures that you go through. i was always teased about being too thin, because in my community thin is not better but ive come to terms that i have a petite frame and i love it because i can be more versatile with my clothing choices
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lady_ivy wrote:
22) 7/16/2009 11:13:28 PM
it nice to see people become comfortable with their own bodies. I am yet to get to the point where I accept myself completely flaws and all, but reading this, I know its possible.
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winiisher3 wrote:
23) 7/19/2009 5:52:14 PM
this was nicely written. it shows us that each mark in our body has a story to tell :) i also love how she tells us that we have "forgive" each imperfection in our body and embrace it. we shouldn't hate our body, but to make the best of it.
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Spam wrote:
24) 7/21/2009 10:52:20 PM
thats was very touching
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tv123 wrote:
25) 7/23/2009 12:27:52 AM
Power to you woman!
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Janice<3 wrote:
26) 7/24/2009 6:51:53 AM
This is a really great poem. It is so inspiring, and it is true. Don't try to make your body something it is not. Just be comfortable in it and you will see just how beautiful it makes you. -J
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ReganTheGreat wrote:
27) 7/24/2009 7:00:32 PM
thanks ELF!
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veronicalin wrote:
28) 7/27/2009 10:22:28 PM
It takes a lot of a work to bring a baby in to this world. It's all about sacrifice. Thanks mom!
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celticfaery wrote:
29) 7/28/2009 4:12:59 PM
wow. this is so incredibly honest and amazing. I want to feel acceptance to my body. I need to write a letter. thanks for this!
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peaceloveandsky wrote:
30) 8/2/2009 9:15:44 AM
in a world where people obsess over the minor imperfections of their body i think its great that more and more articles are coming out about accepting your body, embracing it and loving it the way it is
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ringo wrote:
31) 8/3/2009 8:55:42 PM
Most things don't really get to me, but this letter just made sense. I mean, I haven't had a baby (I'm still a teen, of course!), but there was some random day in my life that I woke up, and it didn't matter that I didn't like my legs or my stomach or whatever. After a while, I got used to the way I look -in a good, comfortable way. Where as before I'd just stress myself out thinking negatively upon my flaws, I'm actually trying to fix them now. I have friends that are still uncomfortable with themselves, and you can tell them all the nice words you know, but it won't matter to them. (Personally, it made me feel more uncomfortable.) Anyway, everyone gets their catharsis at some point. I just wish those moments come soon for everyone I know struggling. I'm glad it happened to you, Dawn.
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TuesdayJumper wrote:
32) 8/12/2009 2:56:20 AM
This is similar to something people did on YouTube called "Dear Body". It really is an amazing feeling when you finally come to love, and accept yourself for who you are.
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Kristy<3 wrote:
33) 9/20/2009 12:45:51 AM
So inspirational Dawn! I think every girl and/or woman has felt that way at least one time in her life.
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mgirl wrote:
34) 1/17/2010 5:31:17 PM
That was very touching
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mariahday wrote:
35) 3/30/2011 8:28:53 PM
This is absolutely touching and inspiring. I live in a flat chested short body, and I know how hard it is to go living life without criticizing yourself everyday. Godbless.
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