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Mom. Can I Wear Makeup?

Thursday, October 08, 2009

“Mom, when can I wear make-up?” that one sentence coming from your tween daughter is enough to make you want to cry. I know because I did. My daughter is the oldest of my four children and my only girl, so when she reached the age that she wanted to wear makeup it saddened me to see my baby grow up so quickly. To us it may seem trivial, but to our daughters, it is a big deal and we need to guide them through makeup just as we guide them through other stages of their development.
We had slowly been working our way up to makeup since the time she was 10, we started with lip gloss, then, gradually added a little more for special occasions, but I had told her she could not wear makeup to school until she was 12. When I would visit her school it shocked me to see how many of the girls her age and even younger were SO made up. During the tween years so much is going on with our daughters and we worry that we are giving them the information they need to deal with their changes, but sometimes I wonder how many moms have a “makeup” talk with their daughters.
After seeing some of the girls in middle school with more makeup on than me and some even looking very unflattering, I felt it was necessary to teach my daughter how to wear her makeup in moderation so that it highlighted her features, not drowned them.
I do not claim to be a makeup expert by any means, (my mom would probably laugh at this cause she is always yelling at me for leaving the house without makeup) but I just wanted to share with you some suggestions I like for helping your tween with makeup decisions.
Make a day of it – Spend the day with your daughter shopping for makeup. Take her to the makeup counter at the department store for some suggestions and even a makeover. You don’t have to buy the expensive products, just have fun with it. My daughter gets so excited when I have makeup coupons and we go shopping and I allow her to pick new products.
Teach her how to use it – After you have purchased makeup come home and have your daughter put makeup on you and then you put makeup on her. Teach your daughter about moderation, I am part of the “less is more” camp even when I am doing my own makeup. Who doesn’t enjoy playing “dress up” no matter what age we are right?
Monitor the makeup use – So you have bought stuff for you daughter, you have taught her how to use it, the lesson of makeup does not end there, you need to make sure your daughter is leaving the house in a responsible manner as well.
Be realistic – Set guidelines for your daughter that you are comfortable with but also that she is comfortable with, work together to come to an agreement about her makeup use. You may not want your daughter wearing makeup until she is 16 and that’s ok, but she may have different ideas. Discuss the ideas and come to a conclusion that makes you both comfortable and happy.
So, what do you think? When did you start allowing your daughter to wear makeup? Do you have any other suggestions for helping our daughters through this important stage of their development?

Kim Janecko, aka Crafty Mama of 4, is the creator of www.craftymamaof4.com.  She is very active on Twitter and a member of Wal-mart’s More than Elevenmoms community.  Kim works closely with Momfluence, Buzz Cooperative, and Party Planning Professor.  An avid couponer,  crafter, techy, photographer, shopper, and reader, Kim is a Stay at Home mom who is very involved in her kids activities and interests.
Kim started her blog craftymamaof4 in November of 2008 to share the things that interest her.  She enjoys trying out new products and telling her readers all about them.
When her third child was born, Kim started her current career; event coordinator, nurse, taxi driver, chef, laundry matron, referee, personal shopper, assistant baseball coach, PTO President, Tiger den leader…..Kim loves every minute of being a Stay at Home Mom (except the laundry part)!! It is the job she has always wanted to do!
 

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~kitty~ wrote:
1) 10/8/2009 6:01:42 PM
Wow... That is a very reasonable approach to makeup and a tween. I am thirteen and I have tried to have the "makeup talk" with my mom. She and I have finally come to an agreement after a LOT of fighting. I wish my mother would have been this state of mind about it. Even though I am a teen, I would like to give suggestions... 1) Be accepting- Trust me if my mother was more accepting of me, I think I would be happier. 2)Don't be scared if we (teens) use dark colors- Yes, some mothers scream when they see a lot of black and blue. True, too much is unflattering, but a bit is... exotic.
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Volleyball maniac wrote:
2) 10/9/2009 7:52:01 PM
hi! I just wanted to say a few things! 1. I am of the teenage years that i've been waring makeup for about 2 years now... quite a few times I have had this "talk" about makeup with my mom. Most of the time I'm good about what I leave the house wearing but i know there are sometimes where I think I may look amazing but my mom says absolutely not! This was so funny because my mom did the same exact thing with me! We went to the mac counter and got 4 products... a very light toupe eyeshadow, studio fix (powder foundation.. and let me just add that this stuff is amazing!) a light blush (color;cubic) and a very sheer sparkly lustreglass in love nectar. I can't describe how I felt at this moment....haha, my mom is so amazing and I think everyone needs their mama by their side! Thanks so much elf! I love love love your products!
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manimodel wrote:
3) 10/11/2009 7:13:32 PM
I completely agree with taking it slowly at the beginning. My mom introduced makeup to me in a similar way. She told me " The purpose of makeup is to enhance the features you already have, not create a totally different face". I started out using lip gloss and chapstick, when I was about eight. It was so funny, I was so serious about making sure I had it on before I went "out". Then I turned 13 and I was allowed to wear a little eyeshadow on special occasions, and tinted lip gloss the rest of the time. When I turned 16, my mom allowed my to use natural-looking makeup -- mascara, bronzer, lip gloss, eyeshadow. I wasn't allowed to use base, eyeliner, and dark eyeshadow till a year later. Essentially, guidelines for teens and makeup depends on your parenting style and the teen...And to you teens, you should really take time to get to know your face and your best features before you start wear makeup, so you can put your best face forward. :)
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babyv2992 wrote:
4) 10/13/2009 10:31:32 AM
this is one smart momma :-) i remember being 11 in 7th grade trying to wear my mothers makeup and im sure i looked like a mess. but then my mom taught me less is more and i didnt look like a clown anymore. i think it is important to teach young girls how to present themselves well and if they want to wear makeup, let them experiment but teach them at the same time :-)
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emolovergirl wrote:
5) 10/30/2009 9:23:48 PM
I'm 13 and I've been wearing eye makeup for maybe 1 year or so.....I don't wear much, some liner and mascara and sometimes eyeshadow. We've had a huge problem at my private school with young girls wearing too much makeup, so only girls in the 7th and 8th grades can wear it. Some girls (almost all of them have older sisters who were the problem) still wear eye makeup, and they have to take it off. I think this is a very good idea, teaching girls to show their inner beauty and not rely on makeup to make them feel nice and pretty.
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Abby Valentine wrote:
6) 11/3/2009 3:14:06 PM
This is all good advice, I am 25 with no children but I never had the makeup talk with my mom. I think I learned from experimenting with makeup on myself and friends. My mom never said I could not wear make up and I never asked. I will definitely do the makeup talk and shopping trip if I ever have a little girl. Thanks!
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sxd wrote:
7) 11/12/2009 7:17:46 PM
Wonderful article.
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¢¾makeup¢¾lovahh¢¾ wrote:
8) 11/17/2009 6:27:46 PM
hi i just wanted to say i think ur doing a great jof with ur daughter and the whole makeup situation. im 14 and i remember my mom not being too crazy about me wearing makeup; however, i think i do a good job. i wear mascara and a little blush or bronzer every day, or if its a more special occasion i'll wear eyeliner and maybe some eyeshadow. my friend wears tons of eyeliner and eyeshadow all the time and it does not look good. she looks like a racoon. well anyway good job, and keep up the good work :)
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Rina wrote:
9) 1/3/2010 1:07:26 AM
haha make up :p I started with the lip gloss, then the eyeliner on the bottom rim, then went to the mascara and eyeshadow, then to the tinted moisturizer, then to the bronzer, then to the blush, then to the under eye concealer, then experimented with lip stain and cheek stain, then tried the gel liner and liquid eyeliner AND then tried cream blush. THIS ALL STARTED WHEN I WAS 14, I AM NOW 15. i guess its alright because i look 15 without make up and look 16 with it :D
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Shawna<3 wrote:
10) 5/1/2010 5:21:58 PM
I was allowed to wear sheer gloss and tinted balm in 7th grade. In 8th, my mom let me loose into the makeup world. However, I have never gone crazy. You do not need a trip to a fancy make-up counter to wear makeup moderately. I wear some sort of sheer or mineral powder, blended in so you can't see lines; mascara; sometimes thin eyeliner; and natural or light eyeshadow. I don't use blush or bronzer...those can be easily misapplied. I always wanted to wear make-up, so I studied and studied how to apply it! Plus, I only wear dark-ish colors on occasion, keeping the rest of my face neutral. I think that if you hold off all make-up, girls will go more crazy when they're allowed to wear all of it.
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