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Thursday, October 08, 2009 “Mom, when can I wear make-up?” that one sentence coming from your tween daughter is enough to make you want to cry. I know because I did. My daughter is the oldest of my four children and my only girl, so when she reached the age that she wanted to wear makeup it saddened me to see my baby grow up so quickly. To us it may seem trivial, but to our daughters, it is a big deal and we need to guide them through makeup just as we guide them through other stages of their development.
We had slowly been working our way up to makeup since the time she was 10, we started with lip gloss, then, gradually added a little more for special occasions, but I had told her she could not wear makeup to school until she was 12. When I would visit her school it shocked me to see how many of the girls her age and even younger were SO made up. During the tween years so much is going on with our daughters and we worry that we are giving them the information they need to deal with their changes, but sometimes I wonder how many moms have a “makeup” talk with their daughters.
After seeing some of the girls in middle school with more makeup on than me and some even looking very unflattering, I felt it was necessary to teach my daughter how to wear her makeup in moderation so that it highlighted her features, not drowned them.
I do not claim to be a makeup expert by any means, (my mom would probably laugh at this cause she is always yelling at me for leaving the house without makeup) but I just wanted to share with you some suggestions I like for helping your tween with makeup decisions.
Make a day of it – Spend the day with your daughter shopping for makeup. Take her to the makeup counter at the department store for some suggestions and even a makeover. You don’t have to buy the expensive products, just have fun with it. My daughter gets so excited when I have makeup coupons and we go shopping and I allow her to pick new products.
Teach her how to use it – After you have purchased makeup come home and have your daughter put makeup on you and then you put makeup on her. Teach your daughter about moderation, I am part of the “less is more” camp even when I am doing my own makeup. Who doesn’t enjoy playing “dress up” no matter what age we are right?
Monitor the makeup use – So you have bought stuff for you daughter, you have taught her how to use it, the lesson of makeup does not end there, you need to make sure your daughter is leaving the house in a responsible manner as well.
Be realistic – Set guidelines for your daughter that you are comfortable with but also that she is comfortable with, work together to come to an agreement about her makeup use. You may not want your daughter wearing makeup until she is 16 and that’s ok, but she may have different ideas. Discuss the ideas and come to a conclusion that makes you both comfortable and happy.
So, what do you think? When did you start allowing your daughter to wear makeup? Do you have any other suggestions for helping our daughters through this important stage of their development?
 Kim Janecko, aka Crafty Mama of 4, is the creator of www.craftymamaof4.com. She is very active on Twitter and a member of Wal-mart’s More than Elevenmoms community. Kim works closely with Momfluence, Buzz Cooperative, and Party Planning Professor. An avid couponer, crafter, techy, photographer, shopper, and reader, Kim is a Stay at Home mom who is very involved in her kids activities and interests.
Kim started her blog craftymamaof4 in November of 2008 to share the things that interest her. She enjoys trying out new products and telling her readers all about them.
When her third child was born, Kim started her current career; event coordinator, nurse, taxi driver, chef, laundry matron, referee, personal shopper, assistant baseball coach, PTO President, Tiger den leader…..Kim loves every minute of being a Stay at Home Mom (except the laundry part)!! It is the job she has always wanted to do!
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