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What I Have Learned About Parenting From TV Moms
What I Have Learned About Parenting From TV Moms
TUESDAY, APRIL 20, 2010

Being that I am a mother of 4 children. Sometimes people come to me and ask for advice or ask me how I manage 4 children.  Well, I have to admit, I try and incorporate a tiny bit of technique from some well known TV Moms.
A good mixture of Roseanne, Carol Brady, Clair Huxtable,  and Edith Bunker never hurt anyone!

Roseanne always lives life one day at a time (no pun intended) and embarrasses her kids when needed. She doesn’t fret over grades like a maniac, she has low expectations for her kids and then when they over achieve she is super grateful. She is a parent with struggles and ups and downs just like all of us moms. She tries to instill in her children morals and expectations without coming out and saying thats what she is doing. One of my favorite episodes on Roseanne was when she dressed up in overall’s and had a huge red lipstick smile and was going to walk her kids to school like that. The fear of her doing this was enough to straighten them out right away. I remember when my mom and dad would threaten to come and sit in the back of my class at school, and how scared I was that they really would. Putting that touch of fear in a child over something like this, I believe is a good thing.
Kids tend to be more and more fearless these days and thats why they will do things right in public eye’s and could care less about who see’s and what wrong they are doing. They no longer seem to have that little angel sitting on one shoulder telling them to think about what they do before they do it. The devil is there and just tells them to go one and there is no one telling them otherwise until something terrible happens. This terrible has extreme’s. It can be from saying a swear word to committing crimes.
I am not saying I don’t set high goals for my children. I am just one of the kinds of parents who tells my kids, I would love to see straight A’s, but I am not going to kill you over a B, and maybe even a C.  I think not putting the extra stress on a child helps them know, what I Wish and Hope for them, but if they do not reach that level, it will be okay. And you know what ?
My 2 children who are in school (one in 7th grade and the other in 5th) have BOTH been on honor roll during both report card periods this year. My 7th grader has gotten 1 B in his life, which totally astonishes me, but makes me very proud.
I try and be friendly with my kids, guide them, give them the skills they need to make it in life, and back away a little bit. All the while letting them know Each and Every Day how much I love them.

The Clair Huxtable in me comes out when I am upset. I love the line she uses in the one show where her daughter Vanessa wants to wear make-up and she tells Clair how “the other girls wear it”. Clair gets her “rolly” eyes out and her pointed finger and tell’s Vanessa, how she could care less what the other girls are doing and what their parents allow them to do, but that this is her house and as long as she is under her roof, she will not be wearing make -up until said age, I think it was 15.
I pull the “Clair” out when I need her, which isn’t a lot of the time, but I am glad she got my back. I try and be firm with my kids, let them know where I stand on issues such as dating, clothes they are allowed to wear, gadgets they are or aren’t allowed to have/get, and places they can go/movies they can see.
I refuse to do or allow anything that can compromise my children’s well being or safety. I don’t care how hard it is to follow if it means they won’t have a cell phone till they are 18, they won’t. Heck, I didn’t have no cell phone growing up, and I got into enough trouble without one. Sometimes I think all these gadgets enables the children of today and Tweens/Teens of today to get into more trouble. I proceed with caution in these area’s and if I see or hear anything that disturbs me, they are cut off completely.
I build trust with my children, and boy is it a disappointment when they let it crumble and fall. Even just 1 brick of trust that falls or gets a little chipped, it is a huge blow to me.  When children lie it is hard to swallow. As parents we put soooo much effort into growing up upstanding children who won’t lie, who won’t steal, who won’t cheat, etc. and when peer pressure, or just them having a brain malfunction happens and they don’t be an upstanding person, WOW. I always let my kids know how much work it will take to build that back, even if it is just 1 brick, it is a Big one.

Edith Bunker- I love to be dippy with my kids. It isn’t unusual for me to sing like a crazy woman as I am cooking dinner. I like to keep my home fun. On a whim I will pull out crafts or a game or a movie and call my children to the living room or dining room to participate in it. I love my kids and want to enjoy them while they are young. I want to build many memories with them so they can look back and know how much I love them. I want them to laugh and have fun. And I want them to remember me as a sometimes zainy mom who they had fun with.
Another thing that is important in my home is family meal time. Edith mastered this as well. She always had a hot meal on the table, partly for Archie but also for Gloria and Mike. I try very hard to have EVERYONE in my family eat dinner together, around the dining room table every night. Sometimes we eat at 9PM  but we are together and talking and eating together. It is interesting how much you can learn about your family and/or how your families day went from one meal.

And finally Mrs. Carol Brady. She is the one I turn to when I visit the kids school, any events, or out and about around people. She is laid back, loving, helps at school, and mature. Well, I can’t start singing like Edith at the PTO meeting, although I am sure the other moms would get a kick out of it (or perhaps kick me out and ban me). So I go to the school prepared to do whatever it takes to stay involved with that aspect of my kids lives. Parents are key to children learning and succeeding. Children NEED NEED NEED to know Parents care. Care about them, care about what they do/or don’t do, care about what friends they have, what activities they like, care about where they are, who they are with. EVERYTHING.  If you are active in your child’s school and they see it, then I believe they will appreciate it and you. It also helps to throw a little Clair in there and let them think you have other PTO moms watching their every move, and also you have an “in” with the principal and that they will let you know ALL about your child    and that if they do something to goof off, you will be there to nip it in the butt.
There are lots of great TV Moms who we can learn from and who through their character can help us real life moms get through with some laughter, tears, anger, and every other emotion out there. We as moms need this support and help in learning how to raise our children. Raising a child is no easy task, not one bit, so make the most of it, try your best, and be proud of what lovely children you have!

 

Beth Davis, Beth Davis, blogger of theplussizemommy.com, is a 34 year old Christian mommy of 4. She has been married to her husband for 13 years. She was also a Foster mommy to two adorable boys for a year.  After a rewarding Child Care career working with Pre-K children, Beth decided to become a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) to raise her 4 children. 

 


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"Forever 39" by Beth Feldman
"Forever 39" by Beth Feldman
FRIDAY, JUNE 19, 2009

Tick tock, tick tock go the sands of time in the hourglass of my 39th year. Four months and six days left and my thirties are officially history, kaput, finito, stick a fork in it, over. And I have to say, as I inch closer and closer to becoming an official subscriber to More Magazine, I’ve begun to embrace the fact that 40 doesn’t mean I’m old, it’s just the beginning of a new chapter in my life.
Ever since I turned 39, I’ve made a conscious decision to throw caution to the wind and finally pursue what I love. From writing song parodies and performing in my local synagogue (to a standing room only crowd might I add) to waxing poetic on my blog about my trials and tribulations as a working mom with two businesses, a husband, two children, a cat, kitten and hermit crab. Did I mention I’m also working on a book, a play, a radio network, events and a webisode series too? Rachel Ray - watch out because I am on your tail sistah. Except I won’t be cooking up five minute meals, I’ll be singing show tunes and cracking jokes. 
I think the reason I’m ready to give my old dreams a try is because I am no longer crippled by rejection.   After learning from my mistakes, I’m now confident in my abilities and know that once I embrace the fear, I can do anything...thank you Helen Reddy (she sang “I Am Woman” for those of you who are thinking - Helen who?) Plus, I know what I do well and that’s make people laugh.   After taking a long hard look at my what I accomplished in my twenties and thirties, I have to say I did have some incredible moments on the job - minus the time a temperamental TV star screamed at me while I was nine months pregnant. Although I’ve launched several talk shows, prime time series, specials, movies, I found that despite the glamour, my glorified celebrity babysitting status and the countless visits to talk show green rooms, I had drifted far off course in my career.  I never set out to be a publicist (actually, I don’t think anyone does), it was just the easier road to take after learning that the starting salary as a lowly editorial assistant for a magazine was $18,000 and at $25,000, I could more than afford to share a one bedroom apartment on the upper west side and rollerblade to my job at the “Ricki Lake” show every day while surviving on pasta and Diet Coke (man was I thin back then). Fast forward nearly two decades and I'm happy to report that I’m finding my way back to recapturing those dreams that were abandoned so long ago (minus the killer apartment and rollerblades). Ever since I left my corporate TV job with my swanky corner office and a fancy title to boot, through my website Role Mommy (www.rolemommy.com), I’ve had the chance to meet some incredibly inspiring individuals - from entrepreneurs, to celebrities, parenting experts, New York Times bestselling authors, fashion executives and magazine editors - many of whom are blogging or tweeting about their amazing journeys of reinvention. What these last few years on my own has taught me is that even though motherhood can sometimes slow us down, it doesn’t mean we’re out for the count.   Being a mom has made me stronger and more determined to ensure that whatever path I choose will be one I can be proud of. More importantly, I want my children to see that if you truly set your heart and mind to something, you are capable of great things.
And what major life lesson can I take away from my 39 years? Simple - don't let rejection bring you down. If I could visit my teenage self I would tell her to keep doing what she loves. And during the summer of 39...thank you Bryan Adams (he sang “Summer of 69” for those of you saying, Bryan what?) it’s all about rekindling those shining moments and making them come alive through my writing, events and my singing of course (even if it’s in my car as I cruise along the West Side Highway belting out the soundtrack to “Dreamgirls”). As I round the last corner of my thirties, I've decided that 39 is the new 16. Anything is possible once you re-ignite your passion and finally make your lifelong dreams come true.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Beth Feldman is the founder of Rolemommy.com, an online community and events company dedicated to motivating busy moms to pursue their passion while raising a family. Feldman switched career gears nearly three years ago while she served as vice president for the CBS Communications Group.    After surrounding herself with several inspirational individuals, including "Amazing Race" host Phil Keoghan.  Beth was bitten by the entrepeneurial bug and ecided to dive of fthe corporate ladder to pursue her dream of creating a community that would celebrate the achievements of mothers who have reinvented their lives while raising a family.  After leaving her corner office behind, Beth has never looked back.  In 2007, Beth, along with "Extra" producer Yvette Cororon, self published Peeing in Peace: Tales & Tips for Type A Moms.  After selling several thousand copies, the pair landed a fabulous agent who sold their little book that could to Sourcebooks, who re-released the book in April 2008 and most recently, sold the Brazilian rights to Peeing in Peace.   with several inspirational individuals, including "Amazing Race" host Phil Keoghan,  
Additionally, Beth has produced and hosted several high profile events in New York and Chicago (next stop Los Angeles) featuring celebrities, authors, entrepreneurs and parenting experts who have reinvented their lives while raising a family. Over the last six months, Role Mommy launched a database called "The List" that offers media and speaking engagement opportunities for mom authors, bloggers, parenting experts and entrepreneurs. She was also recently named a contributor to Twittermoms where she offers PR and marketing advice to mom bloggers, authors, entrepreneurs and parenting experts (culled from her nearly 20 years in the public relations and entertainment industry). Beth also has extensive media experience both behind the scenes and in front of the cameras, having appeared on national and local television shows, dozens of radio outlets, newspapers, magazines and parenting websites including Momlogic, AOL, Better TV, Parents, Working Mother, Advertising Age and many others.
She currently resides in New Rochelle, NY along with her husband, two children and a cat who sometimes suffers from Deli cat reflux disorder.
To find out more about Role Mommy, visit us at www.rolemommy.com.

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