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What I Have Learned About Parenting From TV Moms
What I Have Learned About Parenting From TV Moms
TUESDAY, APRIL 20, 2010

Being that I am a mother of 4 children. Sometimes people come to me and ask for advice or ask me how I manage 4 children.  Well, I have to admit, I try and incorporate a tiny bit of technique from some well known TV Moms.
A good mixture of Roseanne, Carol Brady, Clair Huxtable,  and Edith Bunker never hurt anyone!

Roseanne always lives life one day at a time (no pun intended) and embarrasses her kids when needed. She doesn’t fret over grades like a maniac, she has low expectations for her kids and then when they over achieve she is super grateful. She is a parent with struggles and ups and downs just like all of us moms. She tries to instill in her children morals and expectations without coming out and saying thats what she is doing. One of my favorite episodes on Roseanne was when she dressed up in overall’s and had a huge red lipstick smile and was going to walk her kids to school like that. The fear of her doing this was enough to straighten them out right away. I remember when my mom and dad would threaten to come and sit in the back of my class at school, and how scared I was that they really would. Putting that touch of fear in a child over something like this, I believe is a good thing.
Kids tend to be more and more fearless these days and thats why they will do things right in public eye’s and could care less about who see’s and what wrong they are doing. They no longer seem to have that little angel sitting on one shoulder telling them to think about what they do before they do it. The devil is there and just tells them to go one and there is no one telling them otherwise until something terrible happens. This terrible has extreme’s. It can be from saying a swear word to committing crimes.
I am not saying I don’t set high goals for my children. I am just one of the kinds of parents who tells my kids, I would love to see straight A’s, but I am not going to kill you over a B, and maybe even a C.  I think not putting the extra stress on a child helps them know, what I Wish and Hope for them, but if they do not reach that level, it will be okay. And you know what ?
My 2 children who are in school (one in 7th grade and the other in 5th) have BOTH been on honor roll during both report card periods this year. My 7th grader has gotten 1 B in his life, which totally astonishes me, but makes me very proud.
I try and be friendly with my kids, guide them, give them the skills they need to make it in life, and back away a little bit. All the while letting them know Each and Every Day how much I love them.

The Clair Huxtable in me comes out when I am upset. I love the line she uses in the one show where her daughter Vanessa wants to wear make-up and she tells Clair how “the other girls wear it”. Clair gets her “rolly” eyes out and her pointed finger and tell’s Vanessa, how she could care less what the other girls are doing and what their parents allow them to do, but that this is her house and as long as she is under her roof, she will not be wearing make -up until said age, I think it was 15.
I pull the “Clair” out when I need her, which isn’t a lot of the time, but I am glad she got my back. I try and be firm with my kids, let them know where I stand on issues such as dating, clothes they are allowed to wear, gadgets they are or aren’t allowed to have/get, and places they can go/movies they can see.
I refuse to do or allow anything that can compromise my children’s well being or safety. I don’t care how hard it is to follow if it means they won’t have a cell phone till they are 18, they won’t. Heck, I didn’t have no cell phone growing up, and I got into enough trouble without one. Sometimes I think all these gadgets enables the children of today and Tweens/Teens of today to get into more trouble. I proceed with caution in these area’s and if I see or hear anything that disturbs me, they are cut off completely.
I build trust with my children, and boy is it a disappointment when they let it crumble and fall. Even just 1 brick of trust that falls or gets a little chipped, it is a huge blow to me.  When children lie it is hard to swallow. As parents we put soooo much effort into growing up upstanding children who won’t lie, who won’t steal, who won’t cheat, etc. and when peer pressure, or just them having a brain malfunction happens and they don’t be an upstanding person, WOW. I always let my kids know how much work it will take to build that back, even if it is just 1 brick, it is a Big one.

Edith Bunker- I love to be dippy with my kids. It isn’t unusual for me to sing like a crazy woman as I am cooking dinner. I like to keep my home fun. On a whim I will pull out crafts or a game or a movie and call my children to the living room or dining room to participate in it. I love my kids and want to enjoy them while they are young. I want to build many memories with them so they can look back and know how much I love them. I want them to laugh and have fun. And I want them to remember me as a sometimes zainy mom who they had fun with.
Another thing that is important in my home is family meal time. Edith mastered this as well. She always had a hot meal on the table, partly for Archie but also for Gloria and Mike. I try very hard to have EVERYONE in my family eat dinner together, around the dining room table every night. Sometimes we eat at 9PM  but we are together and talking and eating together. It is interesting how much you can learn about your family and/or how your families day went from one meal.

And finally Mrs. Carol Brady. She is the one I turn to when I visit the kids school, any events, or out and about around people. She is laid back, loving, helps at school, and mature. Well, I can’t start singing like Edith at the PTO meeting, although I am sure the other moms would get a kick out of it (or perhaps kick me out and ban me). So I go to the school prepared to do whatever it takes to stay involved with that aspect of my kids lives. Parents are key to children learning and succeeding. Children NEED NEED NEED to know Parents care. Care about them, care about what they do/or don’t do, care about what friends they have, what activities they like, care about where they are, who they are with. EVERYTHING.  If you are active in your child’s school and they see it, then I believe they will appreciate it and you. It also helps to throw a little Clair in there and let them think you have other PTO moms watching their every move, and also you have an “in” with the principal and that they will let you know ALL about your child    and that if they do something to goof off, you will be there to nip it in the butt.
There are lots of great TV Moms who we can learn from and who through their character can help us real life moms get through with some laughter, tears, anger, and every other emotion out there. We as moms need this support and help in learning how to raise our children. Raising a child is no easy task, not one bit, so make the most of it, try your best, and be proud of what lovely children you have!

 

Beth Davis, Beth Davis, blogger of theplussizemommy.com, is a 34 year old Christian mommy of 4. She has been married to her husband for 13 years. She was also a Foster mommy to two adorable boys for a year.  After a rewarding Child Care career working with Pre-K children, Beth decided to become a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) to raise her 4 children. 

 


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The Magic of Baseball
The Magic of Baseball
MONDAY, APRIL 19, 2010

My 12 year old son’s baseball season started recently. So, for the last couple of weeks, we’ve been going out back and throwing the ball around almost every day. Just me and him.
He’s decided that this year, he really wants to take pitching seriously, and is willing to put in the time and effort by practicing. I’m his catcher. We take the bases out back, measure off the distance and start throwing. He’s doing great. I think he really has potential. (I know, what mom wouldn't say that, but I'm serious here.) It’s not easy for me to get in the catching position though. I am 43 years old and a little out of shape. But at least I still have my arm.

So he and I go and we throw the baseball. Really throw hard. And we laugh. A lot. About really silly things, like how the way I crouch down to catch his pitches makes my butt stick out.
Will started playing t-ball when he was 5. For those first few years, he would stand in the outfield looking at the clouds and the butterflies. But I couldn’t wait for the day to come when he and I could play catch together, really play catch. It happened two years ago. I was still using my old softball glove from high school. (I am proud to say that I was Co-Captain of my high school varsity softball team.) The leather in the glove was a little thin and I sprained my finger when I caught a ball in the wrong spot. I had to get a new glove.

There’s a parenting metaphor in here somewhere between his changing skill level in baseball and his changing need for his mom. In the beginning, in t-ball, he needed a lot of teaching and patience. He couldn’t do it on his own because he was just starting out, didn’t know how to throw or hit. At home, he also had a very physical need for me, making his dinner, helping him get ready for bed, lots of time spent reading together.

Now, he’s on the cusp of surpassing me with his skills and his physical strength and, of course, his height. In baseball, we’ve become even in many ways. We can both throw the ball hard and accurate. But I can’t pitch. He still needs me on a daily basis but in a different, less physical, way. He needs my guidance, my encouragement and some urging (get your homework done, clean your room, hang your towel up). He wants me to hug and kiss him, but not when I pick him up at school. He can make his own dinner and when he showers and gets ready for bed, he locks the door. Though I still kiss him goodnight and tuck him in when he’s done.
In another year or two, as his skill increases and he goes to high school, I imagine he’ll need me less. He’ll be stronger than me and a better ball player. Hopefully, he’ll still want to play catch. He may even teach me a thing or two. I hope he cleans his room and hangs up his towel without me having to ask. And, by then, I’ll have taught him how to do his own laundry. He’ll still need his mom, but in a more cerebral and emotional way. And that’s okay with me. As long as he still lets me hug and kiss him. Giving our children their independence is probably one of the best things we can do for them.

So, for now, I’ll play catch with him whenever he wants me to. And when he throws the ball so hard that my hand stings, I’ll grin and bear it. And I’ll be happy to be sore in order to spend this kind of time with him. Just the two of us. He thinks it’s cool, and so do I.  He says he doesn’t know any other 43 year old mom with an arm like mine. The time we spend together is better than any words that I could say to him about growing up and becoming a teenager, and it is in these moments I experience pure joy--a feeling I wish I had more of. But pure joy is hard to come by, not with the trials and tribulations of everyday life: viruses, broken wrists, bad days at work, mean girls in fourth grade, a troubled economy. That's the magic of baseball though. If only for short while, it lets us forget everything else.

Jen Cullen is a 40-something pseudo housewife, divorced and re-married with 2 kids, one stepdaughter and no pets. She writes Life’s Dewlaps: Musings From An Underused Brain (http://lifesdewlaps.blogspot.com) where she unburdens herself of the many thoughts in her head. It’s not as ominous as it sounds but she likes to explore random topics ranging from using at-home hair color and playing baseball with her son to taking Milk Thistle to prevent hangovers and using arousal gel.

 


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What is Your New Years Resolution?
What is Your New Years Resolution?
TUESDAY, JANUARY 05, 2010

I’ve never really put a lot of stock into New Year’s resolutions.  It is a cute idea/tradition that I like to hear other people talk about.  But as for me, I usually don’t have New Year’s resolutions.  But this year is different.  I’ve decided that 2010 is the year I am going to make a resolution.

For the past three years, I’ve been a stay at home mom to two small boys.  During that time dressing nice has been out the window.  Every outfit I own has been either spit up on, snotted on, or yanked on by one of my little guys.  So this is the year I’m making a resolution to take back my clothes.  I want to dress stylish and cute like I did “bk” (before kids).  I want to get back to being the girl who would buy a pair of shoes because they were fashionable or cute.  The girl who wouldn’t bat an eyelash at a shoe with a heel.  The girl who kept up with the fashion trends and had a little black dress at the ready.  With all the testosterone in this house, I need to get back to feeling feminine again. 

So, I’ve resolved to jump back into the fashion world and get out of this frump slump.  And I think I’ve found a few things to help me along the way.  The first is when I discovered “The Rachel Zoe Project” on Bravo TV.  I love Rachel Zoe and her fashion sense.  She’s plugged in and definitely in the know when it comes to fashion trends.  I feel that a lot of the looks she puts together could be adapted to my budget and lifestyle.  I’m all about chic on the cheap.  She has a great daily email that she sends out where you can “get the daily glamour” from Rachel herself.  Some of the items she recommends are a pipe dream, but a girl can wish can’t she?  It’s bananas. 

Another great tool I’ve found is the virtual make over tool here on the e.l.f. website.  I love the idea of being able to upload a picture of myself so I can virtually try on different makeup shades, as well as change my hair color.  It is hard to shop for these types of things out when you’ve got little ones in tow, so being able to do this after I put those little monkeys to bed is a fun way to do it.  Sometimes I find I want to branch out when it comes to lip color, but I hate to take a chance and buy something that may or may not work.  Also, as a brunette I’m interested to see what I’d look like as a blond.  Because I’ve heard they have more fun.  So it sounds like this virtual make over tool could open up a world of possibilities.

I feel I owe it to my family to become a “hot mama”.  Because as they say, “When mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy”. LOL  I really feel that when you feel your best and put on a smile, it changes the world around you. 

So what is your New Year’s resolution?

Shelly Wilcox is a blogger from Virginia who is married to a great guy and is busy raising two boys under the age of three, as well as chasing after her beloved boston terrier, Miss Zoe.  When not swinging from the chandeliers, she loves to follow fashion and try her hand at crafts.  Blogging at the Chic Crafty Chick Blog, she shares fun finds, cool crafts, recipes and more.  She describes herself as a "chat with your girlfriend" kind of blogger.

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Shhh - No Talking! - by Meggan Ravazzolo
Shhh - No Talking! - by Meggan Ravazzolo
SUNDAY, AUGUST 02, 2009

WARNING:  I took my Bitter Mommy pill.  I have my Snarky Panties on.  Blame it on the lack of sleep, but my patience is done run out with all the "helpful" comments people have been making to me lately about being a Mom and Motherhood. I would love to tell people to go shh!, but I don't.  I just smile and trudge up the high road, secretly plotting my revenge.  I have never actually done any of the replies, except maybe the one about the hamburger, but that pretty much is a given...like right now...yummy.  Sometimes people just need to sssshhh. 
Comment:  How did YOU get such a cute baby?  Translation:  You're not good looking enough to make a kid that cute. Reply:  He gets his good looks from your husband. Comment:  My girlfriend already lost ALL the baby weight. Translation:  You look fat. Reply:  No reply...too distracted day dreaming about hamburgers. Comment:  Are you sick?  You look really tired! Translation:  Wow, you look baaad.  I'll never look like that when I have a baby. Reply:  Just you wait bitch, you'll see. Comment:  Did you know you have food stuck to your clothing? Translation:  GROSS!!!! Reply:  Don't touch me.  That's my snack for later. Comment:  When I was your age, I had FOUR children and we didn't have all those fancy gizmos making our lives so much easier. Translation:  You stink you little hussie.
Reply:  No words, whack her with her own cane.

Find yourself in a similar situation?  Brush off negativity with an e.l.f. Cosmetics Brush Set www.eyeslipsface.com/brushes/e.l.f._professional_5_pc._brush_collection.  Everything you need to whisk your troubles away and look fabulous!
 
Meggan Ravazzolo of www.meggansamom.com has been many things in life. Graduate of the UCLA school of Theater-Film-and Television, Television Reporter, Comedian, Blackjack Dealer, Bartender, Fashion Victim, and Consumer of Hamburgers. None of which prepared her for her next “thing” in life; being a Wife, Mom, and Step-Mom.   After a career in the spotlight Meggan traded in her microphone, size 6 body, personal pride and ego for a life as a stay at home Mom. Her life has never been better, funnier, or messier.  
Hopefully  funny, endlessly dirty, and forever hungry, follow Meggan and she accounts her life with her “salt and pepper sweetie” husband, her two teenage sons, and toddler baby boy.  Meggan writes about it all. Meggansamom.com, “finding the funny and fabulous in family.”

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